First paragraph (Teaser):

Millions of american people are starting to
notice a very un american president and vice
president these days. Every day more and more
americans are starting to wonder if these 2
guys are even fit to run our nation anymore.
The things they do sometimes seem a little
strange and often illegal. So some of the american
people are hoping to find a couple good shrinks
and maybe a few good lawyers to see if what they
are doing in washington is really legal or illegal,
maybe even a little what some people might call unwise.
Now some countries might either better understand or
prefer to use words like stupid, dangerous, reckless,
cruel, inhumane, careless, undemocratic, bad, blind,
insensitive, slightly mad, or even crazy.

Rest of the text:

There is a simple challenge to washington to pass
a bill, its a good one, its a simple one, and it's
a fair one, lets make it a fast one, say march 23,
this will give them several weeks just in case their
secrataries are slow typers or they forget how to
spell there names or they are slow readers or something
you know washington isn't the brightest city in the world
and the bill is 1 page.

Lets call it bill #4404150555 until they give it an official #

Any man women or child that joins the military reserves
the right at anytime they feel unable or unwilling to
pick up another weapon or harm another person to trade
in that gun for a guitar. The government that tought that
child how to use that weapon that kills will be responsible
to provide teachers to teach that soldier to play an instrument
that heals so he may attempt to heal some wounds that he and his
brothers may be feeling or creating. We would only do trade with
countries that provide their soldiers and citizens the right to
decide if and when they to have the right to lay down their guns
and persue a life with more meaning and one worth living.

Submitted by Jimmy the weed Zender american citizen living in
Geneva on the Lake Ohio, maybe Bono would help me get er done.

John Mc Cain, wheres the love for your democracy and military men?
Kennedy live up to your good name, help america find real democracy.
Powell are you still a great american hero, or don't you know anything?
Any good song writers around, we could use some Good real loud music you know.
I might also need a good lawyer or 2 is Bob Dylan or Springsteen available?
Maybe even a couple body guards Cheney still has a gun, hey Snoop Dog help me out.
And if they run me out of my own country Robert Plant will you please take me in?
And don't forget, the all the comedians out there cuz it sure will be good to laugh.
We wan't people from everywhere to come together, please the doors open!

We all owe them this people, they have all givin their lives so
we may have this right, use it, lets do this for them, now!

Lets "nickname" this "the bill we can all afford to pay"

And if washington don't wanna foot this bill, they better all start
hiring lawyers, oh they already are lawyers! Well, they will need
more lawyers and they will be paying them out of there own pockets,
now they would not like that, would they? this bill is good for america!

We will ask some of our brightest stars to both sponser the
bill and donate time to teach these young men and ladies to be
highly skilled and very creative soldiers for life and healers.
And a few big names would make things a lot more encouraging.

As believers we must become less killing and more filling
if we want to get to drink from the cup of life, God help us all!

Now on the streets we call the first part a blood test, on march 23
the results of this test will be in and we will know if he has american
blood in him or muslim blood on him, anyone will be able to decide for
themselves too cause everyones got brains to decide right?

This is a great place to draw the line and see if they want all
americans to have the opertunities to be the best people we can
be or just to do be un or under edjucated and easily manipulated
so we can only keep doing all there dirty works. You know I am
starting to woner if that is Christs blood or muslims blood on
our hands, and if we don't stop now we may be suprised.

Now if he fails the blood tests, we will have due do further testing
now the second part we will be testing his brain, if we can find it.
This test is known on the streets as the test for dummies it is 10 stupid
questions, itis designed for stupid people who can only come up with stupid
answers. the results from this test should show us if he has any common sense
or in some countries it is called "sanity" left or not, we really need to know.

Now if he fails the first 2 tests we better take the 3rd one for him, we will
all be tested. And we must vote every republican out of office in november,
except the ones who fought for our citizens and soldiers rights and signed the
bill and only if they get it passed. This will be "nicknamed" america's blood
test, this test will tell us if they sucked all the american blood out of us.

And in november you will have our test results too, God help us all, please!

Now this test is very real and millions of americans are taking notice.

Every day is a test, and every day we are tested, let us pass this one.

Hey old man, get out of that rocking chair and do something, and students
and children teach your parents well.

I know they will be telling you how stupid we are or crazy the plan
is but you be the judge, is this test easy? will they pass? sign? or
turn their backs on our soldiers and us too, us the people they promised to serve?

You know it's not just iraqies and our soldiers dying but also every soldiers
parents too, their children, brothers, sisters, and every one of us, look inside,
the scars of these wars are in all of us no matter where we live. Demand they pass
this bill into law, just the way it is let them add nothing to it and make sure it
never expires, and don't let them screw it up.

Also this governments been taking all our dollars I think we deserve a little
change, don't you? tell them earn the money they take and sign this bill fast.

Send letters to washington cnn and everywhere, tell family overseas take the
test too and send your answers to Lou Dobbs at cnn.com by july 4 incase we have
a lot of empty seats to fill in november it is right around the corner. And
be sure and find out what test your person in washington prefers to take we
are giving them 3 very easy choices you know
1 Pass this bill now (easiest choice just sign it) or
2 take the test july 4 (anyone who failed the first test) or
3 test us in november, do not underestimate our hunger, you only feed us lots of
elephant shit and the whole world is sick of that.
Rock and Roll Everyone!

The real road to a true democracy "nicknamed" Plan B

We have a very simple way for every american to not only vote
in our land but run for president too, and it wouldn't cost
any one of them 1 penny, but only 10 minutes, hows that for
taking the money out of politics or "nickname" real reform.

Lets call the plan 'take the test' and lets ask everyone in
the world to help us carry this plan forward because it is
gonna be very heavy "3 pages". Now what we need to do is make sure
everyone in washington can pass the test, even bush. And lets
say its a real simple 10 question test, and lets say 3 strikes
your out just incase 1 of the questions we thought of might be
hard to answer. But we will be extra nice and throw in a bonus
question incase anyone might miss 3. Now this will be very easy
so easy that anyone who misses 3 they could loose there seat in
washington. And as the people vote let each 1 take this test too.
And let the ones with the best test scores have the best seats
in washington and government, this would be fast fair free and easy.
Any american could really be our next mayor, governor or even president,
the higher the score the bigger the seat. Except me or anyone I know
since I have the answers, they are honest and simple too.

Lets all call this the real task we owe america and make april 15
20?? task day. And lets have everyones commitment by april 15 20??
task day, and lets make july 4 20?? a truly free elections day. And
lets tell all those criminals in washington you either answer these
fun and simple questions now or we will be asking you a lot tougher
ones in november 20??, common guys at least these will not be so
personal or embarassing, join us.

Lets say if you refuse to take this test, a real shot at democracy
and on scedule we will start asking the harder questions, and by
november none of you will be looking very good.

And lets reach out to all of our brothers and sisters around the
world to demand that bush and all the people in washington take
this test. Just in case bush has a couple loose screws, or cheney
is hotwired or something even something bigger is going on.

Now to the beginning:

You know I am just sitting here in my business, havent had a paying
customer stop in for awhile so I started thinking, and oh no when I
start thinking you never know where I might end up especially with
this government, thinking in america is almost illegal you know.

See they beleive they own our hearts and minds so therefore they have
the right to do our thinking for us or break our hearts whenever they
want and stealing them back would be illegal you know, maybe thats why
I feel so guilty.

So anyway, I thought to myself you know maybe our President should
be tested. I thought our kids are tested all the time. If I want to go
to work, even pushing grocery carts in America I have to pass a test.
So I thought we needed to come up with a test you should have to pass
to be a President or a world leader, after all a lot of peoples lives
depend on these guys.

Now we decided we gotta make this test extra easy for 3 big reasons.
1. Because George Bush isn't very smart. (biggest reason lol)
2. To show that no matter how easy you made it they would still fail.
3. If we all failed too what good would that do anyone? lets not!

Now I thought you know Jim, George would probably still fail the test
even one this simple. So I thought maybe we could all be nice and give
him a lotta help so I thought lets let all his big dogs, I mean, elephants
with big ears, that hear everything and hig noses that reach up everyones
you know what. republican friends try to help him pass this test, after all
they know everything and also he does have a lot of those you know. And he
can put there extremely extra heavy weight on all those old mules they call
democrats, we still call them asses in some parts of the world. they ain't
going to far. Seems like they aint taken a step forward since only God knows when.

And just to make sure George would have the guts to take the test we better
let him call in all his religous friends, you know the ones with Gods 1-800
phone number, the ones who hear voices,and see visions too, And don't forget
that brand new pope they got, maybe he's the powerfull one. And oh lets not forget
all of Georges worldly faith healers too the ones who are spreading religion
everywhere guns can go and oil is, they are his really good friends. And at the
rate they are goin there wont be anyone left to preach to or kill either one and
in 10 short years max, and if the air don't kill the rest of us the water will.

And although this test would only be 10 simple questions,
and since he hung out with such a smart bunch, the best people in the world
they would call themselves, and just in case they were busy doing anything
important or "golfing on vacations..."I thought they are gonna need time.
So I figured maybe 6 weeks or so would give them plenty of time to take the test,
right? And I thought maybe each of them could take the test themselves too, you
know so we could see who's the smartest, lol. And I thought you know this is a
democracy maybe we should just all take the test, you know maybe we have a few
good leaders hidden out there we don't know about, cause there are a lot of problems
needing fixing around here. And I really did make this easy cause if they failed I
might have to get off my own lazy american butt and do a little work too, you know
when you been unemployed so many times you can learn to get a little lazy.

So I thought you know, Lou Dobbs is always looking for answers, he says he want's to
fix America maybe he would help, maybe he would take the challenge? He could get a
great big email box lol, we could all mail him our answers to the test heck with cnn
helping we could even take it by phone and just include our names, phone numbers and
addresses just in case we passed. And if you don't have an address or a phone number
"underpaid" or in some countries it's referred to as "slave labour" use a friends in
case we need to call on you, who knows maybe your country could use your help, and
maybe you need a job too, wow that would be a real win win for everyone.

Then I thought you know Jimmy Carter is pretty good at monitoring other's elections
he seems willing to volenteer often for many other countries elections, maybe he could
help monitor the american elections he could tell you all if this was fair, free, fast,
friendly and honest and if every man was treated equal and everyone had a chance to be
a winner, or if america's deck is still stacked and we were all kept at the bottom.

And I thought you know Wolf Blitzer hasn't had anything world changing to report on
latley, maybe he could tell us who all passed the test, if any. Maybe give us there
test scores so they can all brag a little if they aren't to embarassing to report.
He couls also give us the names and adresses of those who got all the answers right
so we could find out where all of the smart americans are hidden, cuz we need brains.

And to all you governments around the world, whos democracies we have either rigged,
stolen, corrupted, or overthrown as we claimed to be defending you please ask your
citizens to rise up and encourage fast free and fair elections for us, cuz ours are
all rigged too,and this is not democracy it is capitalism and they are not the same thing.
And in my world every man is needed and important, yes all of you too.

And I thought you know Jim just in case they all failed maybe we should all take the
test, just in case we might need smarter people that could be running the show a little
better you know, lol.

So this is a challenge, a challenge to all the above named people, and a challenge to
all of us who call ourselves human, Lets all take the test and lets take it together.
And lets make sure our leaders are all able to pass this simple test, like all our
teachers you know, cuz I hate seeing my world falling apart, and also since I don't expect
many paying customers today so I really didn't have anything more important to do except
waste a little more time, Lord knows I aint got a nickle to waste.

America, its time to reshuffle that deck and find some winning cards.
Or they could just pick 2 dummies for us to choose from, like last time.

Test for the President

1. Who discovered America?
2. How many heads is 1 man born with?
3. What finger is the bad finger?
4. What day of the week do you worship God?
5. What body part is the naughtiest?
6. What date did man first do the moonwalk?
7. What Is the Federal Reserve?
8. If God wanted to save a whole lot of people
Would he prefer to use a gun or a guitar?
9. Which one would you want him using on you?
10.What color is God's hummer?

***Bonus Question!

Real men have guts and aren't afraid to be tested, but one american man looks
more like a chicken afraid to undergo testing then a man. And 1 acts more like a
bat always hiding, usually in a underground cave, and working only in darkness ???
who are these 2 very strange men?

Now these are all very simple questions I only made it through 8th grade you know
so how hard could they be? And since george wen't to harvard I am sure he is much
smarter then any of us. And to make sure we give you every break you derve you do
not have to answer the bonus question unless you think you already missed 3 others.
Common miss liberty remove your blindfold what is really going on around here or
you might really miss out on true liberty.

Now if you wanna know what I am really trying to do hear this is it I wanna
help wipe the tears from your eyes and the smile from cheneys face, after all
I do have 2 hands you know I might as well us them both.oh and to be able too
follow some honest leaders too, cause I don't wanna end up you know where!

And if anyone of you in washington think your very blessed and gifted we will
be looking for wistle blowers to lead the big parade, in case you can't play
guitars very well you know in washington they might make fun of you if you try
that. feel free to sign up and participate and start blowing your wistle now!
And if any of you corporate church people think you see the way maybe you
could start ringing a few freedom bells and open a couple doors too, just incase
anyone is trying to get out, while they still can, cuz something there ain't Good.
Or you could just go to the back of the parade with santa clause And after all it
will be about thanksgiving by then, you decide.
And if any of you news people want a real good story to report on, one that could
help save america and bring us true leaders and real democracy, speak up we can't
here you yet, and it is your responsability too, our numbers are big???
And if there are any real heros left out there, please join in anywhere you can
we need your voice, and we all have one of those left if nothing else use it.
Oh and george I left a little room here at the bottom incase you have a better idea,
feel free to spell it out below, if you do still speak our language, ok?