Until now, only Romanians coming in a container were making it in the Canadian newspapers. The Romanian president - Ion Iliescu - will come to Montreal on a taxpayers' money paid trip, on 19 September 2004. And will make it on the newspapers too, with your help.

The pretext is to inaugurate a statue but the reality is, he is coming to discuss with look alike goons^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H businessmen issues such as fair trade ("Canadians will get the gold and Romanians will get the cyanide" - see http://www.rosiamontana.org), nuclear (Cernavoda), human rights ("in spite of EU opposition, you will still be able to buy a kid, just call it adoption"), commerce (in 2004, in Toronto alone, out of 880 nude dancers, 582 were Romanian), and, why not, upcoming elections ("vote for me").

If you are a polluter, slave trader, pedophile or a simple crook with creative ideas - and looking to discuss business, you are hereby invited to drop by. Bring substantial bribes as just about everything is for sale (but leave home wallet). For details contact the Romanian Embassy or the Romanian Consulate.

Members of ex-Securitate, secret services, Police and snipers will make sure men of honor are undisturbed. You might even be able to see Mr. Talpes - ex. director of the Romanian spy ring, now presidential councillor and protector of the Rosia Montana poisonous project.

Came in power in 1989 following a coup d'etat that caused more than 2000 deaths (a real politician has to have thousands in his neck), under his rule, Romania turned from a dictatorship into a flourishing democracy where journalists are either sued or beaten into pulp. And ruled by the same opportunists and parasites of the commie regime turned democrats, of course.

With a definite social-democratic touch (his beloved party, PSD, is a member of the International Socialist) he has successfully implemented extermination politics ("there are too many elders, we cannot pay $40/month pensions" - quoting PM Nastase) and mass starvation (average wage $120/month in country where prices are Canadian-like) such that 15 years later there are only about 21 million Romanians left out of 23. In a pure socio-dem tradition, welfare has been cut to zero, as well as medical assistance so that now death and suicide rates are skyrocketing - good riddance of useless peoples. More to come to everybody's benefits - all power to the (right) people! Forget about the free education inherited from the commie regime.

Inheriting a bankrupt economy, our socio-dem guy managed to privatize assets worth billions for just about 2 euros (Resita) and to build a corruption system that even EU has to notice: in todays Romania Mafia itself rules - just ask OLAF. Nowadays Police is not only protecting organized crime but crime is run by Police and top-ranking politicians. Even some naive prosecutors had to commit suicide (Cristian Panait). You get busted only if opposing crime or competing with some apparatchiks for market shares. But if not paying due protection (only 10% but maybe more) to officials, Police will decide you committed suicide.

With a bit of creativity sustainable development solutions to fill apparatchik pockets in a post-commie era have been found and timely implemented - today Romania is famous for things such as: slave trading networks where kids and elders are forced into begging and women are forced into prostitution; organ trading networks with top surgeons ($70000, negociable); kid sales ($40000, please inquire for details); sexual tourism (including paedophilia - as seen on CNN). Today even drug traders are highly respected and protected - just ask Frank Timis for references.

If you are a scamer able to pay a good lunch to our government employees and a good bribe to our politicians, there are huge opportunities for you as there are some fraudulent privatization possibilities left (mining industry is just being sacked - for instance. Gold scams anyone?). Anything can be bankrupted and given away for free, provided a good bribe. Also, we are actively looking into laundering crime money.

Iliescu's regime has also noticeable realizations in the trendy environmental protection: forest surfaces have been halved in only 15 years; Romania is a heaven for hunters - wild pesky beasts will be hunted to the last, bears first (apparatchiks love hunting); and pollution reaches healthy carcinogenic records with more to come - just look Rosia Montana (with great Canadian cyanide help): http://www.rosiamontana.org. Forced expropriations on top, because human rights are important to the regime. Dynamite fishing just got legal. Danube delta is kind of private.

Unfortunately, some of the undergoing business has made it into the newspapers, but fear not gentle crook, nowadays Police and Army are trained in US at SOA - the situation will be forever under control. Proof: his second coup d'etat, in November 2003, nicknamed Constitutional Referendum was a huge success. EU might protest the situation but as long as Washington asses are licked properly, nothing will change; always ready to pay you a highway from taxpayers' money if you are the right person. Keep in mind that, even if upcoming elections will put some other opportunists in place, it will be business as usual - this is true political stability!

Drop us a line for arrangements. Or even better, drop by at Place Devonshire (Roy W. corner Sewell) on 18th of September (the date is not so sure, our beloved Prez tries to avoid his fans). Leave tomatoes and eggs home. Ask for more details at armadillodm AT flashmail.com

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